Whenever you hear the phrase "coming of age story", surely you know by now to brace yourself for cliches.  Secondhand Lions is a coming of age story.  Just so you know.

We begin in that almost quintessentially Coming Of Age era, the 1960s.   That beloved plot-driver, the feckless mother (Kyra Sedgwick as Mae) is dropping her son Walter (Haley Joel Osment) off with his eccentric great-uncles for the summer.   She says she's going to court reporter school (we soon learn that's a lie), and something else is off here. 

The traditional 'feckless mother' figure at least means well, and in the final reel when push comes to shove will go into Protective Lioness mode in defense of her offspring.  But listen to Mae here - not only is she dumping her son off with a couple old men she's never even met, but she's telling Walter that 'everyone' says the old guys have a fortune hidden somewhere, and wouldn't it be fun if he could find it?  Um... is Mae priming her son to help her loot her uncles' fortune?  Well, yes.

Not to say there are no protective lionesses in this movie, in fact there is one.  It's just not Mae.  It's a protective lioness. 

Be that as it may, Walter gets dumped, Mom departs, and the two codgers are stuck with a kid they didn't ask for and don't particularly want around. The codgers in question are Uncle Hap (Robert Duvall) and Uncle Garth (Michael Caine).  They know nothing about kids and have no intention of learning, so Walter has to adjust to their eccentric lifestyles.  No telephone, no television, for amusement the uncles sit on the porch sipping iced tea and taking potshots at traveling salesmen.

There are a lot of traveling salesmen, because the rumors of the old men's wealth has spread far and wide.  The wealth is not much in evidence on this dusty old Texas farm with the farmhouse that hasn't seen a paint job in this century and the pack of mismatched dogs (and one pig).  The brothers plant a garden with spectacular ineptitude and try to adjust to being retired.

If there is a hidden fortune, where did it come from?  There are various stories - Hap and Garth are Mafia hit men, on the lam with the money they stole from Al Capone.  Or they're bank robbers from the 1920s who never got caught.

As they get used to having 'the kid' around, Garth starts telling Walter his version of their lives and adventures, and these stories are even wilder than the rumors.  Wars with the French Foreign Legion, exploring Africa, rescuing a princess - could these stories possibly be true?   Walter sure wants to think so.

In the flashbacks, young Hap is played by Christian Kane and young Garth by Kevin Haberer.  There is an endearing fairy-talelike quality to the flashbacks, with evil sheiks and fair maidens, and in all the quantity of gun battles, sword fights, and explosions, never so much as a drop of blood.

And speaking of not a drop of blood -- back in the movie's present, the old codgers decide to relive a bit of their glory days.  How?  They purchase a lion.  The plan is to have a good old-fashioned lion hunt, but rather than burst from the crate roaring ferociously, the lioness just sits there blinking sleepily at them, and they can't very well shoot an animal in a crate. 

Walter is charmed by the lion - can he keep her?  Oh, please please, he'll feed her and take care of her...  So the lioness moves into the cornfield, and is prepositioned for the time when a protective lioness will come in handy.

In case you're wondering, yes, before the closing credits, the viewer does learn the truth about the uncles' wealth. 

Basically, what Secondhand Lions boils down to is fantasy wish fulfillment.  Our own eccentric relatives were actually pretty boring, weren't they?

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