Why not me?

Why not me?
I've been musing the last few hours over the success of Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling (well-deserved in my opinion, even if I am a bit green with envy), but also the bestseller status attained by the teenage author of the dragon fantasy tale, Eragon. His 6-figure book deal went on to net him a film contract, with production set to begin in August on the $100 million dollar movie.

I don't begrudge them - or anyone - their successes. However, I must ask... why not me?

Why can I not get my novel done? Why can I not make myself write more than the snippets and starts that are floating around on my hard drive? And, even if I did get one or more of them complete, would I be able to get them published? If they were published, would anyone read them?

Well, there is the drive to get things done. That is paramount. There is also time. I spend many days writing things that will earn me immediate, if somewhat meager, income in order to support the lifestyle to which we have become accustomed. And, I actually like to get 8 -9 hours of sleep a night.

I am pulled in many directions. I love to spend time raising my daughter and bend my work commitments around her. I keep my home, I cook, I try to spend quality time with my spouse, I do things with and for friends and family.

A nagging voice in my head says if I was meant to write a best-seller, I would have done it already. But that seems defeatist. And, I am not sure I even believe it is true. So, I will keep examining my lifestyle, my motives and my work until I have a more positive, a more confident answer.

In the meantime, the sequel to Eragon, called Eldest, will be out in August.